Saturday, December 17, 2011
It doesnt matter anymore. It doesnt matter how fked up I feel, or how unfair things are. I have lost my best friend, and its my fault.. I just know it. Im just a complete loser. Ever since IPP, whatever I do just dont go well. The more I try to be a more sociable person, the more problems occur... Now im not happy at all. To be honest I feel like just committing suicide. Lol I know its stupid, but, I feel so worthless now... I havent been talking her for 2 weeks alr since the last time she said she cant go out with me. I feel that she dont even care if I talk to her, it really hurts when a person you like makes you feel like shit. Im just a born loser... I know, I shouldnt be so negative, but, im tired of trying to be positive alr... it hurts just as much when I lost my best friend. Now no one is there to give me advice, no one is there to make things more fun for me.. no one is there to gym and hang out with me. I depended on my best friend so much for everything, that it feels as though I have lost a part of me when he isnt talking to me anymore. It feels as painful as having a brother who just died in front of u. And my team in EMRS isnt fun at all, I cant find any new friends who can make me forget about so many unhappy things. Other than asri.. Im really grateful to this friend, but I cant expect this friend to always be there for me as well.. My last semester of poly life just sucks.. And I just wish for this to end. Im just a person who doesnt know how to show my appreciation other than doing things for ppl in the dark.
I really like her alot, and until now, im still trying hard to forget about her, but with all these things thats going on around me, I guess I will have to be emo for sometime before I start to really heal..Labels: I just want to forget.
//BlueBlacKzJC struck at
2:52 PM\\